Tuesday, February 1, 2011

New GW selling points? Interesting focus

Is that Astorath?

Looking at GW's site, I noticed a little extra text on the Stormraven and Furioso pages (newest releases) that isn't on older items (at least not yet).  Interesting to me that these blurbs focus on the in-game alleged uberness of the units vs. fluff or the modeling sides.  For good or ill maybe they're moving away from the cop-out of "we're a model company, not a rules company."  Blurbs below, from the Games Workshop store website.

(Stormraven) Remember the terrified look on your opponent's face when you first fought them with your Blood Angels?  Well be prepared to see it again because nothing inspires terror quite like this vehicle - it's a flying red fist of death that's going to punch their army until it begs for mercy.  There is something extremely satisfying when you transport your most devastating unit (and potentially a Dreadnought) across the table and right into the face of the enemy army.  And after you unleash the troops?  Well, you can just blast chunks out of their tanks and monsters with Bloodstrike missiles until there's nothing left to blow up.

(Furioso) The Furioso Dreadnought is effectively a mobile infantry blender that will make your opponents want to check your codex with disbelief.  It can be upgraded with blood talons, which will rend and tear an entire unit apart in seconds - the machine is a beast.  If you want to raise an eye-brow, why not go for the Death Company Dreadnought.  Your opponent will have to blow its legs off to stop it moving and glancing hits are pretty much worthless against it.  And for the double raised eye-brow, why not use a Librarian Dreadnought?  It is just as devastating in close combat and it gives you access to a range of lethal psychic powers.

Really?  Flying red fist of death?  Double raised eye-brow?  I guess it was just a matter of time before the abyss of net hyperbole stared back at them.


  1. Y'know, if this was a forum, someone would be posting something like 'In before "they is just rippin off warmachine PAEG FIVE to the maxx", or some statement of similar vacuity.

    I wonder if there's any validity to such an accusation, though? It feels like a more childishly aggressive tack than GW have taken in the past, although I think that characteristic British reserve is working against them a bit in the Furioso writeup.

  2. Nice ... GW hired someone who did the description for car advertisements in the past. It reads like those imho.

    btw: Dilbert Rocks!

  3. Yeah, it does sound tacky but still slightly amusing :)

  4. I think it sounds awful, and up until now I have never read anything quite like that from GW certainly. All that sort of writing style inspires is to be a c*nt to your friends when using your new toys. A flying red fist of death, I mean really?

    The comment about checking the codex is an interesting one as again it implies on some degree that you are not behaving as you should towards your opponent. I get images of 'ha ha my new toy can do this and that and transport and kill tanks ect...na na na na na.'

    Lets try and remember we are British (GW not the readers of this blog) and that we do not need to sex up our criminally ugly new toys with over the top language just to sell them.

  5. To be fair they're not going to say the Storm Raven is rubbish or it's just meh or over priced.

    The Death Company is false as a glancing hit can still immobilise it and whose going to assault it eh with blood talons?

  6. This is horrible. I don't even know how to...

    Is this what we want to encourage? This overly-competitive douche-contest that wargaming has devolved into? Why?! Why would you give that type of mentality a safe haven? It's that sort of ungentlemanly behavior that perpetuates the negative social connotation attached to being a tabletop gamer.

    I am disgusted.

  7. Oh please oh please oh please I hope they go back and add uh... characterful... text like this for all the other units available. Wow, just think how awesome the write-up for Chaos Spawn would be.

    "Remember the terrified look on your opponents face when you first placed your writhing, misbegotten horde of Chaos Spawn on the tabletop? Or the disbelieving expressions you received when pointing out that they don't even take up a spot in your FOC? Oh wait, that never happened... sorry. Hahahahaha, joke's on you! Kit comes with enough pieces to assemble two complete Chaos Spawn per box."

  8. @Von - It will be interesting to see if they try to keep it up, and how they can keep topping the old units.

    @t800a - C'mon down to GW's Stormraven Emporium, on Route 29 across from the Denny's. Everybody flies!

    Dilbert does indeed rock, in a sad, sad way. My ultimate career goal is to be able to read Dilbert and no longer "get" it.

    @The Antipope - like a bad pick up line. ;-)

    @Musings - Yep. Jervis must be upset.

    @Mercer - Right, but so over the top is kind of silly.

    @Shaun - But...it's a flying red (or grey soon) flying fist of death! It pwns! I am so 1337 for taking it!


    @Papa - Now that's a great idea.

    I may have to steal it.

  9. "Or you could be a WFB player who's already bought two Hellcannons, in which case... well, fair enough. Knock yourself out."

  10. I thought both paragraphs were hilarious. They could have been quotes from just about any one of the overenthusiastic masses who disperse themselves, one to each gaming fraternity around the earth.

    Like Papa, I'd love to see what they write for their less that awe-inspiring units...

  11. @Von - Shows how out of the fantasy loop I am. I thought that Hellcannons were considered good.

    @GDMNW - I'd love to see what YOU would write for those units! Check out the next post for a contest along those lines!

    @dylangould -But this dreadnought is *New and Improved*! Maybe the Stormraven could have been marketed as "Thunderhawk Lite" or "Family Sized Land Speeder".

  12. [any un-awe inspiring unit of your choice]
    Remember the terrified look on your opponent's face when you first fought them with your Blood Angels? Well this time you won't see it anymore as you have chosen for our terrible [insert name of un-awe inspiring unit of your choice]. Nothing exemplifies slaughters (edit - typo: laughters) quite like this unit - it's a running bunch of cowards begging for mercy. There is something extremely satisfying for your opponent when you deploy this unit on the table and right into the face of the enemy army. And after you unleash them and they met with the foe? Well, typically there's nothing left of them to blow up.

  13. Aw, crap. Now I want to model a Stormraven as a giant red fist with wings.


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