Sunday, October 17, 2010

Stay Bloodthirsty my Friends

He once shattered a Legion because he was bored.

Despite using a plasma pistol for over ten thousand years, he’s only died twice. Neither time was due to overheat.

He’s so over the top that the giant skull on his crotch doesn’t seem out of place.

He’s been voted “scariest thing with bunny ears” ten years in a row, even though the contest has only been running for six.

He is…The Most Interesting Berzerker in the Galaxy.


  1. He was known as the "level headed" World Eater.
    If he were to wedge gorechild in your skull, you'd have to fight off the strong urge to thank him.
    The blood god dedicated skulls to him ...

    He is... the most interesting berzerker in the galaxy.

  2. A calming influence on Angron... (!)

  3. He used to fight with one arm chained behind his back, but that made it too easy.

    For him, daemonhood would be a step down.

    He gives his armor a save, not the other way around.

    Bloodthirsters ask *him* to possess *them*.

    He is…The Most Interesting Berzerker in the Galaxy.

  4. When asked about the shooting phase he has no idea what the person is talking about

    When asked what a few of his favorite things were all he would say is skulls

    When asked what Angron was like during the crusade he says, "He was a whiner"

    He doesnt kill people, he just gives really bad hair cuts

    When he respect knuckles people, they die from shock...which is common after massive blunt trauma

    His sense of humor kills...always

    People join his squad not show their fighting prowess but to show their luck

    He once lost gorechild...but he found it under the pile of bodies

  5. When he plays wow he's a fire mage, when asked why all he would say is "Burn.."

    When asked about the Codex Astartes he said he read it once and found it wordy and overbearing, he then beat the clerk to death with it...the only known use he's found for it

    When he cracks his knuckles it sounds like spines snapping

    It can never be said that he ran from a battle, because any direction he runs he's going to cause one

  6. After watching Highlander, he stood up and yelled "there can be only one!" Everyone around burst into laughter until they realized he was serious and thus ended the thirteenth black crusade

    He doesnt use a ship to get across the galaxy, he just punches himself and wakes us in another battlefield

    He's the space marine with side burns on his helmet

    When he swings his axe he isnt trying to hit anyone, he's been trying for the last 10,000 years to swat the same fly...people just keep getting in the way

  7. untill that is he sold his story to the sun and mad the planet of britonian VII really annoyed.

    (or is this me picking up the wrong subtleness of the stig)


    when asked to teach biology he always does "live" demonstrations

    when asked to conquer a town he conquers a town, and drowns the world in blood

    he swings sharp pointy chains around a bare arm and haas never cut himself

    once a man question his 2 blue ponytails- he took his advice and used the mans intestines insted (dyed blue of course, or died blue )

    the only time he admitted pain was when papa nurgel sat on him.. and he went ow

    he is the most intresting beserker in the galaxy

  8. He's the spark of wars he never appeared in.

    When blood is in the water, sharks let him take first bite.

    If he were on Broadway, he would speak a single word and people would weep openly.

    When his plasma pistol detonates, it dies instead.

    He once laughed when faced by an entire Imperial army. And they laughed with him.

    He is...The Most Interesting Berzerker In The Galaxy.

  9. For those who may be unfamiliar with what this is based on:

  10. I'm laughing too hard to come up with anything good.

  11. I'm with Loquacious on this, I keep checking back to see more of these awesome comments. Great work on this one, sonsoftaurus, this has been hilarious.

  12. Kharn drinks blood and pissed powerthirst

    When asked what his favorite is he says static and screams

    Kharn is chuck Norris grimdark

    Behind kharns axe is another axe then a fist then another axe

    Kharn is the only person satiate a bloodthirster he's now known as just blood

    When he joins a campaign both sides weep

    The only reason he carries a gun is because he likes to burn himself. He really doesn't even know guns kill people if he did the galaxy would be over

    He's the only person to kill more parleys then the emperor.

    Khorne fears him women adore him and demon princes want to be him and only the lucky escape him. He's the most interesting beserker in the galaxy

  13. He's the only daemon prince that has a pimp wagon

    Kharn knows Tyler durgen

    The only human to survive a punch from Kharn is creed. After which his inner tactical genius was awoken

    Kharn was supposed to be on dawn of war 3 but they found him to unbalancing so they made him his own faction. Since then he has waged a war of diplomacy anyone who sit down to talk to him about terms is beaten to death by his charm disemboweled buy words and ultimately killed by axe lodged in his forehead

    When asked his religion he says Mormon

    One time he decided not to kill someone. Since then he hasn't made that mistake again

    There once was a constellation named after him until he killed it

    Abbadon once got into a pissing contest with Kharn. When abbie pissed he pissed the foulest taint in the universe anything touch became tainted. When Kharn pissed blood fire and and the entire metallica collection came out. On lookers said that justice for all never sounded so good

    Kharn found Waldo and killed him

    Whats funny is I wrote these going to and from my bachelors party

  14. When Kharn travels through the Immaterium, his ship's Gellar field keeps warp entities safe from him.

    He is…The Most Interesting Berzerker in the Galaxy.


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